Showing posts with label cfs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cfs. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

hello again!


hello! im back again at last! i have been busy on my quest for wellbeing and for the last sixteen weeks i have been on the WEL course run by glasgow homeopathic hospital and intended for people with cfs/me symptoms. i have mentioned it here already but only gone into a bit of detail about some of it. it was really in 3 chunks, the first with a doctor, the second with a physiotherapist and the third with two more doctors. the last part was by far the most beneficial to me. this eight week (optional) MBCT course has been truly amazing for me in many ways, so i would like to tell you a wee bit about it here.

MBCT stands for mindfulness based cognitive therapy. this is a type of meditation called mindfulness meditation. meditation is by no means new to me. many years ago i developed an interest in yoga, meditation and buddhism. i learned how through yoga and meditation i could find a retreat from this crazy, fast paced and busy world if only for a few minutes a week. later through buddhist philosophy i learned how to face many of life's challenges and difficulties in a gentle way with kindness to myself and others. along with healthy eating and a bit of exercise i thought i had the perfect healthy lifestyle for my mind and body. when i became poorly with cfs/fibro some of this fell by the wayside. i had no energy (or cash) to attend my normal yoga/meditation classes, and what was the point anyway? i had gotten ill even with 'doing all the right things'!

by going on this mbct course i feel that have once again found a little bit of that breathing space. why meditate? well for one thing research shows that people who meditate may handle emotions such as anxiety and frustration more effectively and may also aid healing and lower blood pressure to boot. the course reminded me that mindfulness meditation is not about 'stopping thoughts' and thinking of 'nothing'. it is listening to your voice, your heart and your breathing and being present with your emotions and body sensations without trying to change anything or judge yourself.

mindfulness teacher and author jon kabat-zinn describes this nicely; ''one way to envision how mindfulness works is to think of your mind as the surface of a lake or of the ocean. there are always waves on the water. sometimes they are big, sometimes they are small, and sometimes almost imperceptible. the waters waves are churning up by the winds which come and go and vary in direction and intensity, just as the winds of stress and change in our life's, which stir up waves in our minds. people who don't understand meditation think that it is some kind of special inner manipulation which will magically shut of these waves so that the mind's surface will be flat, peaceful and tranquil. but just as you cant put a glass plate on the water to calm the waves, so you can't artificially suppress the waves of your mind, and it's not too smart to try. it will only create more tension and inner struggle, not calmness. that does not mean that calmness is unattainable. it's just that it cannot be attained by misguided attempts to suppress the minds natural activity. it is possible through meditation to find shelter from much of the wind that agitates the mind. over time a good deal of turbulence may die down from lack of continuous feeding. but ultimately the winds of life and the winds of the mind will blow, do what we may. meditation is about knowing something about this and how to work with it. you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf''


not judging your thoughts does not mean being resistant to change. by tuning into how a certain thought makes us feel we can then decide how to deal better with our emotions. it makes us more aware of reoccuring negitive thoughts and we realise that they are just thoughts, not facts. we may be able to deal with problems, illness, relationships better with a clearer awarness of the situation. as the dalai lama points out 'meditation is merely the process whereby we gain control over the mind and guide it in a more virtuous direction'.
on the course we spent time learning different practices including bodyscan, sitting meditation, mindfulness of movement, walking meditation and my favourite - mountain meditation. we got to spend time talking over any difficulties we were having commiting to formal practice and share our progress. we got lots of homework that had to be handed in so this helped keep us motivated.


i think everyone can benefit from meditation no matter how old or healthy. you don't need you be a buddhist or meditate for hours on end. even just a few minutes a day can be really helpful in daily life. in fact we learned 'three minute breathing space' that is good to make you stop, tune into your mind and body feelings and just be. for more formal practice a guided cd is ideal to get you started. focusing on your breathing is the best way to go and when the usual millions of thoughts that come and go arise, just be aware, don't push it away. but ask yourself how does this thought make me feel? what emotions? how does my body feel? now when i feel strong emotions like anger i greet it like an old friend 'hello anger come and sit beside me' (along with frustration, self pity, fear etc). so far it has helped me cope with the onset of depression due to my symptoms and daily stresses due to my lifestyle change over the last few years or so. oh and no need either to sit cross legged on the floor if this is not comfortable, i just use a chair for the time being or lie down. the only thing about meditation that can be difficult is the commitment you need to give mindfulness practice. i am still struggling with this but it is getting easier as i feel the benefits!

during the course i struggled to concentrate due to building works outside my home, the noise has been driving me crazy and by no means perfect for meditation. i asked one of the teachers for advice and was told to make the noise my focus for meditation. as crazy as it sounded it worked!

want to give it a go? you can start by searching for local classes, purchase or borrow a cd and a couple of books and take it from there! let me know how you get on!

SOME RESOURSES: i have borrowed the following from the library and they are recommended reading: full catastrophe living by jon kabat-zinn, wherever you go, there you are by jon kabat-zinn, healing without freud or prozac by dr david esrvan-schreiber (notes the benefits of heartmath meditation) and living well with pain and illness by vidyamala burch. a friend has lent me cd's also narrated by jon kabat-zinn and by vidyamala birch that accompany some of the books. here are some websites to find out more about mindfulness meditation and related research: mind and life, meditation for the masses, mindful purpose and wild mind.

Saturday, 2 January 2010

happy talking twenty ten

i'm back! i wish you all a very happy and as healthy as possible new year! im looking forward to spending some time here on this little blog this year sharing the ups and downs of life with cfs/me and fibromialgia. i have a few little plans and ideas.
i like to start each year by getting a new diary which i call my 'happy talk' diary. i fill it with good stuff, things i'm grateful for, nice things: a chat with my best friend on the phone, a beautiful walk, something that made me laugh. many years ago i realised that my diary concentrated on the bad stuff that happened to me, and it only made me bitter and resentful when i read it. i decided then that if i kept a diary it should just be full of the the sweet things in my life.
last year i was not very good at filling it in, i don't know why (brain fog, fatigue? and that i record some of the good things here instead) as i had things to be happy and grateful about. this year my resolution is to try and jot things down daily. that way i can look back on it when i am down or feeling sorry for myself and remember: it isn't all bad.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

two years with me - but it's not all bad.

i have been neglecting this blog a tad. i admit i find it easier to post on hyggelig happy as

*i am not sure if anyone reads this.
*if i am feeling rubbish i might moan a bit too much.
*if i'm having an okish day i might to sound a bit too smug.
*i don't always know where i am going with this blog.

one thing i do know is that i will carry on posting and hope to find the direction this blog is going. if i can make even just one person feel less alone in coping with a chronic illness i will be glad i started this blog.

next year i aim to start my series of interviews with lots of people who have one thing in common: chronic illness. people with symptoms, people that have recovered, medical professionals, people who can share experiences with one goal: how to keep happy while life is so restricted and challenging.
i will review books, magazines and treatments, and find out what can help even in a small way.

it is almost two years since my own symptoms started with a bad bout of flu. it's been a very tough couple of years. but it's not all bad. i have tried to stay positive and find a balance. in the last few months i have tried to channel what little energy i have into being creative. it's what makes me happy, but until i became ill and had to slow down i never had the time to make anything.

my proudest moment in these last two years was last week when the new little shop welcome home stocked some little toy bears and cards i had made.
as some day's it's hard just to get out of bed, to be able to create something and sell it feels like an amazing achievement! yes, i wish i had enough energy to make enough to sell in many shops, but it's a start, and i am chuffed to bits.

thank you to my dear friends who have been very encouraging and supportive especially emily who has been simply amazing this last year, to vicki for coming into my life at the right time, and to viv for all the love.

this will be my last post here this year so i wish everyone a wonderful (and as symptom free as possible) festive season. peace and joy. love kim x


p.s ~my MRI scan results must be ok as i have not the results yet. no news is good news!

pp.s ~i will be posting about physiotherapy and graded exercise in the new year. i would love to here about other peoples experience of this or any other related issues. you can contact me at hellohyggelig@ymail.com

ppp.s ~action for ME will be given a donation from many online shops including amazon, tesco and john lewis when you shop through their website www.afme.org.uk

Friday, 30 October 2009

hello!

sorry for such long gaps in between posts. if im feeling really crappity crap (like this week!) i feel i will just be all moany and as that is not the aim of the blog i just email my mate tina instead for a good old symptoms whinge!

this week i have felt so tired, achey and fed up (because i am tired and achey!) and had to cancel everything planned. i only managed a couple of blog posts here and a teeny weeny bit of knitting for an upcoming craft show. except a couple of days ago i had to venture out as my cat biba was ill and had to get taken to the vet. even though it was a short bus ride and a short wait at the vet hospital i was so utterly exhausted when i came home i was back in bed right away. poor biba was so frightened of leaving home and was very brave when get injections from the vet. she has antibiotics to take and should be on the mend soon. tomorrow is my birthday and i hope to have enough energy to celebrate just a little bit!

i will try and be back next week with more regular posts. in the meantime here is a picture of my sweet beautiful biba in her pumpkin bed. happy halloween!

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

confused?

i have already mentioned all the recent news regarding the latest findings on the possible causes for cfs and fibro. are you as confused as me? what is XMRV and what is a retrovirus anyway? most importantly what does the discovery mean to us? i found this helpful on adrienne dellwo's blog.

Thursday, 15 October 2009

inspiration

apart from lying on the sofa i have been meeting some very inspiring people this week for a coffee (and a virtual coffee!) firstly i met with vicki who has recovered from cfs and is now teaching the gupta technique, that helped improve her symptoms. it was a joy to speak to her and hear her story - she had been affected for many years. i hope she will do a little interview for this blog in the future.

i was also contacted by a couple of very amazing creative women who have managed to set up businesses from home against all the odds. i will be talking more about them in another post.

if anyone has inspired you this week i would love to hear about them.